Thursday, November 25, 2010

when you're bored...

you draw..or doodle more or less..
Thats what I told myself last time I worked at the couche-tard corner de lorimier and laurier
its not my usual crew, its not my usual weirdos and its definitivly not the same pace..
its like a comparision between an leopard and a snail..
its not that I dont like the crew there, they are nice and funny, the clients behave and are respectfull. however times goes by too slow.. and for the past year and a half Im use to rush into things so hastilly that I can't see the time fly by. but this... was boring.
SOIll get to the point.I drew,here's 2 little sketches that are worth showing

that would be a random sexy lady and then Agape from skydoll. :D
Annndd that not all, in the bus, half asleep I was doodling and I came up with an enteresting sketch that I ended up inking.. ionno if Ill finish it someday, Im kinda in the lazy gloomy mood of late but Ill do my best harharharhar and yes, it is AGAIN a sky dool fanart =_=.. it was supposed to be a carnival girl but when I did the eyes I was more like.. its not really what I do usually :/.. and it was more looking like well.. skydoll type.. so I ended up that way, not half bad I think.. :D

butyeah, how's life been treating you?
mine has been .. well.. shit.. (warning RANT ZONE)

-rant rant rant rant rant rant rant because I need to vent rant rant rant rant rant-

everytime I see the end of the hard time and I think I can finally rest from my nightmarish life, soemthing else befall on me, like today was my last day of my first weekend I had since a month and a half (been doing over time, need the money yadda yadda yadda same jazz as always) and I only slept 6 hours because my godamned landlord knocked on the door and yelled at my boyfriend with menaces of throwing us out because we didnt have the time to spray for the bed bugs (heck! I was NEVER home, and we never found a place for the cat to stay the 4 hours needed for the toxic shit to dissapear)
that and bills bills always bills
mom and my sisters are worried because I look down and depressed, like Im about to jump off the cliff..
Im not
you all know that I would never do such an idiotic thing.
tho I can't help to wonder, what have I done wrong? I worked my ass hard when I was at school, intensive program, plus 35hours of part-time work. ever since the end of the school Ive been gobbing every extra hours I can get, Ive applied everywhere I could in my field to finally get started. WHAT MOAR CAN I FUCKING DO?
who have I pissed off to badly to see everything failing so hard?
Is it because I followed my dream?
Is it because I dared to try?
Is is simply because I was never at the right place at the right time?
if not then what is it? am I just that stupid?
I wish I could find a solution you know, or someone that gives me a clue, you know
or just a tiiinny break where I could take a deap breath, a healing spell to keep on fighting.
but will it really happen.. ionno, I just dont know anymore.. I wish I could distinguish what is the right thing to.
Or maybe just empty everything to be zen and shining again..
ahhaha who am I kidding? Maybe Im just a lame ass looser who is just a big bother for everyone after all ^^;
Everyone Im so sorry..and I love you all..
It'll be allright, ne? :)