its alliiiivvveee

howdy folks?

Well sorry for the lack of update seem life doesnt want to let go of me and always put me under a shitload of stuff :)

Im not dead, Im still drawing, tho I can't post

much untill the contract is finished but if you go see Im working on some art for La page a melko

r new layout that's going to be released this f

all. But every week there is new art that is released so see the millions of robots here for your pleas

ure http://www.facebook.com/lapageamelkor

moving on with the stuff, Im now fully moved in

, in that amazing appt downtown montreal (like

more downtown than that its almost imposible) and

amazingly with my super green back alley it sm

ell and feel like country-side town 8D it makes me

super happy :D

also in the meelee that was my moving out, I succ

e

eded at loosing an important wire... that is my sc

anner wire D:
so instead of ordering one and waiting even more and

pay 20$ for a friggin wire.. I just bought a brand ne

w

scanner/printer... YAY..

so now let me shower you with some ARTEH

first series is an idea that poped up at 3am in a s

tressed sleepless night :D My best friend is writting the story that goes with it, I just threw s

ome idea on paper randomly and here's what you get :

also during a little walk on mont-royale I saw a renaud-bray sale thingny got myself a new sketch book with art cover of adolie day :3 and i

t was only 10$ and I was out of normal sketchbooks (tiny ones are tineyyy)

so I DREEEWWWWWWWWWW

8D

I also stated a tumblr :D

yup yup

it can be followed here : http://pakouiisinsane.tumblr.com/

annndd also, the internet connextion in mu room is the ugliest thing ever done.. you have no idea how infuriating this is.. it took me 5h to update this blog.. like srly.. its deadly.. if I had a knive.. somone would have died// >(

what's that you say? A blog post? Oh dear..

I EDITED AND ADDED NEW STUFF AT THE END :O

HELLO POPULATION OF THE EARTH!ahah how is you?

I feel like I dont post enough lately, or annoy you with my troubled soul muwahaha

so Ive decided to multi-task while posting

therefore I am writing this while eating my maple and musta

rd chicken breast with sauté vegtables (hey I tr

y to eat good food once a while you know, cha

nge of pace with the ramen) And its delicious. you can lick the screen all you wan, its mine muhahahah.

sooo

I finally got the kick in the ass needed to get to work o

n stuff

like 3d, its nothing yet except boxes, so Ill only s

how the concepts

to add to the portfolio, Im like, trying to do DIV

ERSITY hell yeah :D

so first one you saw in the last blog post, the sorta-steampunkish hallway

now you get a sorta prettier city like town :D

next is the ravaged room XD if you dont understnad my scribble oh well

I'm going to start building thoses in 3d :D cant wait *hugs 3dsmx*

so that covers the "I'm working for a better life" part now here's the lifestyle part

last week I was litterally sleep deprived, I mean I wor

k late afternoon shift during the week and early morning shift during the weekend D:

im so sick and tired of this job T_T

so saturday night instead of going to see

people I went to bed at 9pm
thing is... its a god

damned

saturday night~

so nightbors were throwing a party, and I would not complain cuz how manytimes did I do parties here? tho I was a bit mor

e lucky then them

cuz the crazy lady that lives upstairs never bothered us. Yet thats what she did, she started yelling for hours in the hallway till the superintended got tired and called the cops on both of the noisy people. ended up with police bringing the lady to the police station.

. at 2am..so since people

yelling in my ears deprives me more of sleep I drew :D

good thing too cuz I succeeded at putting a drawing I had in my head for awhile on paper 8D
it shows the dark

ness of m

y soul pfffff
tho I have been feeling down lately but you know Im stronger than that :B

taaa daaaaa

now I shall leave you with sketches of the drink and draw (dnd) night I went to last week :)
and resume my comission drawing while eat

ing ice cream in my lonely apt
cuz I'm so loneellyyyy oohh soo lonnellyyy I have

no bodyy foor my owwnnn *like sticking crappy songs in your heads :B *

also I was able to put the tatoo Ive been wanting for a long time (more that a year at least) and so its going to look like that :

EDITZORR

got bored at1am, started drawing.. oh dear got spring fever getting to me? harharhar
all in all just wanted to draw something smoochy and cuddly and sexy, yes. so thats what came out.

cuz I approve of piercing and tattoossss ♥ :B

and if you ask me who they are, they are a fragment of my imagination, not a representation of anyone, tho, you can interpret*siighh* maybe sleep will cure me of my craziness 8D *sleep nao*

dont be shy to comment D: I like comments! and critics.. and just a hello is good too. ♥

mhhh....

Its funny how I tought that my life would get any better, but you know, shit is happening, still

but oh well, I'll deal with it you know, like I always did, not the first time, prolly not the last time my ass gets owned by mr bitchy life haha.

Anyways I was a bit down this past month cuz of the said shit was like hapening over and over and over. I needed a slap in the face to force me back to reality instead of sulking away~ I think Im all good now, I need to keep in the surface and find all my motivation for the final showdown muwahah

so, since I was a slob and not doing art, I went to a friend's house to draw, and draw I did

annndd, after working on commision I did a quiky sketch on photoshop yayy

so I have material to show you even tho they are not high quality sketches they are something at least :B

the first one well I didnt know what to draw, so in the end My friend asked me to draw her in my style, so I did, here be the result

she actually framed the drawing in the same night :D ♥ my first drawing that is in a frame yayyy (normally only my paintings are XD ) so after that I was like. arrr what to draw?

so I ended up with this :
Its pretty meh, nothing to it really, but THEN I GOT STRIKED with an idea! yayyy

wich, for once, is NOT a person its a landscape YAYY.

so, like that, no ruler, I spat it out

:D

its a bit charged. And I think I might do it in 3d, just for the lol, and to add new stuff to the already old portfolio yes, would be a good idea :B

And after a long day of working on my list of commisions, I ended up just doodeling away in photoshop just before closing it, just cuz I felt like it so there you are: a sorta moulin-rougesque girl yayyyy~

Its so nowere haha XD but it was fun, drawing again is helping me getting back on track.. a little bit :)

love you all~ may your dream be filled with annoying girly stuff like ponies and cupcakes :D

a new begining

Well its the end of january and I havent posted anything yet.
Mostly because my live has gone through lots of changes.
One main, alot of you readers dont know me in real life. Or others just dont keep up with the news.
So if you must know, I had a break-up with my now ex boyfriend.. and it was quite hard.
Now my cousin lives with me and Ive been trying to fix my life.. wich is hard, but one fight at a time haha
Lately I had that craving of chage, I want something new, somthing different..but for once, its not as easy as before where I could simply just go somewhere haha
but Im working hard ^_^ and thank you for believing in me :).

So, for a change, I will post finished art 8D

first is the fanart I did of skydoll, coloured, and it was sooo much fuuun :B its shinnyy and textures were taken from google image seach XD



second is a drawing I did about 6 or 7 months ago..o_o; I finally finished it last month haha XD it was a great practice !


The last coloured piece is a recent one.. its an id for me.. because I saw on my deviantart account that I still have my old ID with my blond and pink hair... it was about time that I changed it. so here it iss~
and to finish it all off~ A doodle I did today at work.. it really look christmas themed.. but I just wanted to do a cute girl in winter coat.. then the wings came naturally hahha -_-;; but it was so ffuuunnn to doo
-
also I came to realise, most of my drawings are girls, looking in the same direction.. I need to draw different stuff rly..meh.


so on this, Im going back to my comissions, I need to kick my ass some more ^_^;;
keep faith up, Ill upload more as soon as Im done with all the madness :D
haha

I found stuff 8D

First , Merry christmas to you ♥
Hope you had a wonderfull chirsmas, mine wasnt all that mad, if you take out the fack that Im sick, sleepdeprived and running around like a chicken or a godzilla robot, something of the sort.
So while seaching for sketches I did for a commision, I found some little sketches to add to my daily boredom production :B. enjoy~
(I did this one while waiting for an autograph of barbara canepa ♥ huhuhuhuu BOOBIES XD )
(this is for you ami-sempai, like promised, tho I wished I did a better job -_- gommmeennn~ )
(oh! this one is about 5 months old XD while decided what cosplay I wanted to do, so you know the whole twist thing about mario and luigi evil twin, and you know about how lots of people cosplay girl mario and girl luigi.. what if you combine? so I decided that I wanted to do my own version of girl wa-luigi since my boyfriend is supposed to do wa-luigi itself, and my neighbor's boyfriend did wario last year, so she decided to jump in the band wagon and do girl wario :D and to add the twist she is the skinny one and Im the more chubby one so its twisted twisted twwiiiissted around muwhahah .. we are so shmartz :B )

next sketches are recent ones

25 of december morning.. I was working.. lemme tell you the store was DEAD.. only clients were hobo that wanted booze at 8am in the morning, and a regular client per hour coming to get milk/eggs/bread/coffee since everything else was closed harharharr)

this was actually done today, still very dead day. haha Im tired

rawr
I send you monster love~
now gonna rest for 6 hours my poor littles eyes 8D ♥

when you're bored...

you draw..or doodle more or less..
Thats what I told myself last time I worked at the couche-tard corner de lorimier and laurier
its not my usual crew, its not my usual weirdos and its definitivly not the same pace..
its like a comparision between an leopard and a snail..
its not that I dont like the crew there, they are nice and funny, the clients behave and are respectfull. however times goes by too slow.. and for the past year and a half Im use to rush into things so hastilly that I can't see the time fly by. but this... was boring.
SOIll get to the point.I drew,here's 2 little sketches that are worth showing



that would be a random sexy lady and then Agape from skydoll. :D
Annndd that not all, in the bus, half asleep I was doodling and I came up with an enteresting sketch that I ended up inking.. ionno if Ill finish it someday, Im kinda in the lazy gloomy mood of late but Ill do my best harharharhar and yes, it is AGAIN a sky dool fanart =_=.. it was supposed to be a carnival girl but when I did the eyes I was more like.. its not really what I do usually :/.. and it was more looking like well.. skydoll type.. so I ended up that way, not half bad I think.. :D

butyeah, how's life been treating you?
mine has been .. well.. shit.. (warning RANT ZONE)

-rant rant rant rant rant rant rant because I need to vent rant rant rant rant rant-

everytime I see the end of the hard time and I think I can finally rest from my nightmarish life, soemthing else befall on me, like today was my last day of my first weekend I had since a month and a half (been doing over time, need the money yadda yadda yadda same jazz as always) and I only slept 6 hours because my godamned landlord knocked on the door and yelled at my boyfriend with menaces of throwing us out because we didnt have the time to spray for the bed bugs (heck! I was NEVER home, and we never found a place for the cat to stay the 4 hours needed for the toxic shit to dissapear)
that and bills bills always bills
mom and my sisters are worried because I look down and depressed, like Im about to jump off the cliff..
Im not
you all know that I would never do such an idiotic thing.
tho I can't help to wonder, what have I done wrong? I worked my ass hard when I was at school, intensive program, plus 35hours of part-time work. ever since the end of the school Ive been gobbing every extra hours I can get, Ive applied everywhere I could in my field to finally get started. WHAT MOAR CAN I FUCKING DO?
who have I pissed off to badly to see everything failing so hard?
Is it because I followed my dream?
Is it because I dared to try?
Is is simply because I was never at the right place at the right time?
if not then what is it? am I just that stupid?
I wish I could find a solution you know, or someone that gives me a clue, you know
or just a tiiinny break where I could take a deap breath, a healing spell to keep on fighting.
but will it really happen.. ionno, I just dont know anymore.. I wish I could distinguish what is the right thing to.
Or maybe just empty everything to be zen and shining again..
ahhaha who am I kidding? Maybe Im just a lame ass looser who is just a big bother for everyone after all ^^;
Everyone Im so sorry..and I love you all..
It'll be allright, ne? :)

its moviiiinnng D:

oh hai people!
how are you hanging on?
me IM busy, so busy it kills me :<>

so right now when I wake up OR after work this is how I look like :

I also been hanging out with people, and I realised that 2 of them have special bonds of brotherly love, and often are off in their own little world. I find that very inspiring and cute :>
been also working on contracts I have 2 more to go and they are huge ones with lots of charaters @_@ muwhaha. I did the first one it was for my sister and was a simple ink job so yay 8D
also if I havent annoyed you with the stories of my life well my mother is doing the rally des gazelles in maroco desert, which is a distance and endurance rally through the insanity of the desert :D, and for that she is doing alot of found raising, and since Im poor and always working, I can never participate to her things, so instead IM doing a painting that she can sell to the highest bidder or somehting like that, here's the sketch :
so yeahhhhhhhhhhh, my life is been hecting and IM still trying very hard to find a job in my field and as quickly as I can since Im way over my head with debts and all T_T me and Ben are trying real hard. But you know low salary jobs are, well, low salary.. I love my job, but its not what I want to do for the rest of my life, I want to create! to use that rusty brain of mine D:
but yeah I feal that its gonna happen soon, hopefully IM right.
oh and aslo, my landlord finally did action against the bed bugs flea :D I have the product now I just have to find a day where I can take my cat somewhere for a few hours (toxic vapors)
yayyyy
things are slightly looking up 8D
on this I WANT MOAR COFFEEEEEEEE